Hi friends! Semi-regular, I did say :)
A picture from my week
I’m absolutely taking this section from Ricky’s newsletter, because it’s been really nice to see something from Ricky’s week, and I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like despite trying week after week. It feels like I try every week -_-.
This is my desk setup these days, and front and center is Bobby the Beagle. He’s a sweet old pup now, lives in Santa Clara with my mom, and loves the sun. He’s so cute I want to boop his nose :)
My deck of know yourself cards
I have a deck of know yourself cards from The School of Life - based in London and available in all sorts of book stores. It’s a deck of cards for self-exploration. Each card has a front and a back - front being a question to answer, and the back being an explanation that invites you to reflect.
Here’s one:
What negative character flaws do you fear - in your worst nightmares - that other people have spotted about you?
Almost certainly, these flaws are on everyone’s radar already. Other people know more about us after five minutes than we tend to know after decades - because their knowledge isn’t inhibited by squeamishness. Honesty has no cost for them. Rather than hope no one can see your flaws, assume everyone spotted them long ago - and deal with the prospect by behaving with intelligent modest humour around them.
(humOUr because these cards be british)
I took this deck to Paris for Seojie’s 30th birthday <3 (my kind of evening?? - going through these cards on a friday in a dimly lit parisian bar laughing into the night with a friend i’ve known almost half my life now). And while drunk in our hotel bar in my very Californian accent, I made self-reflection seem fun enough that a very cool-looking french couple asked me where to get their own copy of the deck. I convinced them to grab a deck on their next trip to London. They said they loved Shoreditch.
Anyways, this is my favorite card in the deck.
Let me list out for you a few things that I’ve cried about recently:
A conversation with my dad that started with him telling me (was it telling? judging?) that I talk too for long and always about my feelings (what the f dad), that meandered and ended up with him describing all of the hurt he’s experienced in his life that he didn’t want for me, and all the worry he feels when he sees me be vulnerable. He told me to protect myself. *sob*
The part in ‘he’s just not that into you’ when Ben Affleck shows up at Jennifer Aniston’s dad’s house (she’s having a tough time taking care of her on-screen dad after he’s had a heart attack) and without being asked does all of the dishes and laundry to support her. Without being asked.
The last 30 pages of “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone”
I once cried watching Crufts on youtube with Ben because the dogs were just so, so happy (i’m crazy, and i think i probably definitely must have had something else going on simultaneously)
This is all this week (except for the Crufts). I live a full and emotional life what can I say.
And here’s the other side of the card:
And of course, we must know this already right? We do experience and feel this each time we cry after all. But crying post-reading this card feels different. And it’s a little bit quicker for me to put my finger on why these tears keep flowing.
Because my dad loves me.
Because romcoms.
Because humans are resilient.
Because dogs experience a joy that is so pure and untarnished (i’m insane i know).
:) I love this deck. And I love knowing myself, and all of my cracks and insecurities. And (here it is again) being emotionally honest feels better than turning away.
Ben and I whip out the deck every now and again. Tonight we took turns reading and answering cards while making dumplings. Another kind of my kind of night.
If you want your own deck, you can get them on the amazons. Otherwise, i’ll probably bring them to something we go to together :)
A reddit post I recommend:
I’ve been saving posts all week in anticipation of sharing. Boy it is hard picking just 1 post to share. Since we’ve kind of talked about dogs today….
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/ejgf12/the_chosen_one/